I Know You’re Tired, But Is It The Right Kind?

By Madiha Nabeel

Like every mother I go to bed tired or exhausted or sometimes a bit of both. After serving dinner, doing dishes, preparing lunches, feeding kids, changing kids, putting kids to bed and praying `Ishaa etc., I reach for the bed to end the day. My body needs rest and my mind runs through a list of tasks and tries to organize, prioritize and sort them for the day ahead. But I make it, day in and day out, through school days and weekends, sick days and celebrations, I try to make it. Taking one day at a time. But once the dust of tasks and duties settles and the kids are fast asleep, I can finally hear nothing but my conscious and the self checklist begins (provided that I didn’t pass out by then). The list is long for us mothers because we check whether we did the necessary tasks and whether we did them right? And then did our kids do the right things and did they do them right?

It is when I can see the flaws and take notes for self like I am not serving enough iron rich food nowadays, for example, and from now on I will try to let my kid dress herself etc.

Having painted a regular day ending to you let me share two more pictures from the Quran with you:

Al-Kahf 18:103

قُلْ هَلْ نُنَبِّئُكُم بِٱلْأَخْسَرِينَ أَعْمَٰلًا

Say, [O Muhammad], “Shall we [believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds?

Al-Kahf 18:104

ٱلَّذِينَ ضَلَّ سَعْيُهُمْ فِى ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا وَهُمْ يَحْسَبُونَ أَنَّهُمْ يُحْسِنُونَ صُنْعًا

[They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in work.”

Al-Kahf 18:105

أُولَٰٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا بِئَايَٰتِ رَبِّهِمْ وَلِقَآئِهِۧ فَحَبِطَتْ أَعْمَٰلُهُمْ فَلَا نُقِيمُ لَهُمْ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَٰمَةِ وَزْنًا

Those are the ones who disbelieve in the verses of their Lord and in [their] meeting Him, so their deeds have become worthless; and We will not assign to them on the Day of Resurrection any importance.

And the second picture from Al-Ghashiyah

وُجُوهٌ يَوْمَيِذٍ خَـشِعَةٌ

عَامِلَةٌ نَّاصِبَةٌ

تَصْلَى نَاراً حَامِيَةً

Some faces, that Day will be humiliated. Laboring, weary. They will enter in the hot blazing Fire. (88:2-4)

So on the day of judgement there will be some groups of people who will be waiting for the result of the worldly test and they will be tired and exhausted. The effort and struggle they did will be evident on their faces but the result will not something expected. They will not be rejoicing rather they will be overcome with regret and guilt. Imagine them like a champion on a losing team who made all the right efforts but targeted the wrong goal. Looking at their effort weighing nothing, looking at hell screaming in rage in front of them, they will realize they did terribly wrong.

So let’s do one thing when we go to bed. Let’s check whether we have made at least some effort in the right direction. This is the thought that changed my Duas. Now I pray, ‘oh Allah make me tired on the right path’. Because the older you get the more you accept the fact that this world is a test and not paradise. Also it is not meant to be paradise but like a test center it presents you with situations to test and record your answers. So you seriously start working out the solution to the test.

Advertisement

Reap Gold From Every Gathering

Guest post by Madiha Akhtar

Once my husband said, “Whenever you find yourself in a conservation, try to take something beneficial from it, something that can help you”. I know it sounds philosophical but the application that I saw him practice is what makes this a golden rule to live by. Let me explain further with examples.

I went to visit my grandparents and my husband accompanied me. After asking the usual questions of “how are you and kids, health, job” etc., my grandfather started to talk about his travel experiences. Right after that my husband asked him, “What do you think was their greatest strength and weakness?”. I looked at his face and then at my grandfather’s and was totally indulged in the way my grandfather explained what he found key to their success. A whole new paradigm of discussion opened up which was both interesting and beneficial.

So here is how he does it. In every gathering he asks questions which are related to the topic as well as the knowledge of the audience. This is the ultimate trick to learn from others’ years of experience. Let me share with you some more examples.

In a gathering of moms you can ask the question, “What is the single most important thing that one can give to their children?” or to a grandmother, “What is the one thing you never compromised on when it came to your children?”.

When accompanied by someone who loves cooking , “What is the simplest yet nutritious dish you make?”. In a group of friends, “How do you handle the situation when your husband is angry but you don’t know the cause?”.

So my dear friends, this is the key to learning. Now I enjoy having conversations and even making small talk with strangers when waiting in a queue or reception as I have found a way to tap others’ wisdom. Lastly, I will add just one more thing that most of the sins related to tongue are because of excessive talking and sometimes to avoid an awkward silence in the drawing room, we end up talking uselessly. SO THINK AHEAD!

Patch the Leaks…

2. I wish I could…

Now is the time to select and choose what you really want to spend your time on. Things like reading a book, memorizing Quran, starting a new blog… let the list go on and on. Then prioritize that list. All those wants, needs and wishes, sum them all in your list. If you want, you can also decide some time limit for those wishes, like 15 minutes daily etc.

1. Pondering over Quran       15 min daily

2. Blogging                              30 min weekly

This was the simple part. Next comes the tricky task.

3. Patch your pipe

After this short check, what I found was that on average we spend 2-3 hours waiting daily. Whether it is the time spent infront of the microwave or while travelling. This made me realize even more that there is lot more in my hand then I thought. This is the time when we can fulfill a lot of wishes.

HOW?

First divide your waiting time into zones. Like for the time that is consumed regularly on travelling to your work place, booting your computer, waiting for the class to start.  Put that in group A. Now within this group think of the time duration; activities that take 10 or more minutes classify them as the golden moments, then those activites that take 5-10 min as the silver moments, and lastly for activites that take less then 5 minutes as the bronze moments. Now stich your work list in the appropriate holes here is a view of how it looks:

GROUP A
Golden moments                  greater then 10min                 Memorizing Quran
Silver moments                         5-10min                                   Returning calls
Bronze moments                   less then 5 min                           Zikr, Dua

It doesn’t have to be that formal and complicated. You can do all of this in your head easily. However you need to put some effort in making sure your plan works, for example:

• If Quran is on your list, then invest in a pocket size quran or get one in your mobile. Whenever you have to wait just start gaining reward.
• If you love praying extra nawafil and the busy life is crushing your dreams then get hold of the minutes you have while travelling.
• If  the book you bought has been staring you for weeks, then take it along and if it is too BIG get it re-binded in size-able chunks and keep one with you.
• If there is still some bronze moments left, fit in Zikr. Make your own collection of good duas either save then in your iPhone, mobile, laptop or on paper and ask Allah specially when you are travelling as it is one of those moments when your wishes can come true.
• If you don’t get time to listen to your favorite scholars online then invest in mobile  internet or a cheaper solution is while working download what you like on your phone or laptop and enjoy listening while waiting.
• Put a sticky note on your computer containing your favorite duas. Recite while it boots.
• You can even clean your purse the next time you have to wait.

Some tiny time savers:

Although this activity was geared on ways to use the time getting wasted just because of “waiting” but the main goal of doing all this was to use our time fully as it is a blessing about which we will be questioned. So before leaving I want to point out some unusual time savers that you probably haven’t thought about. Here is a glimpse of such activities:

• Answer your parents on the very first time they call you.
• Fix time for meals.
• Leave some time for relaxing so that you can focus on work.
• Fix a spot for different things like car keys, cards etc.
• Keep your computer neat too. DO NOT go on creating folders without naming them properly.
• Try the hibernation key instead of ‘turn off’ on your laptops.
• Lastly, get it right the first time because if you think that you don’t have time to spend on this job now, where will you get enough time to do it all over again? At the same time, remember, perfection is not always required.
• Write stuff down or you will waste time trying to remember it.

I hope this little reminder helps you in getting the best of your time and closer to your goal. JazakAllah for reading. :)

Fix the Leaks…

WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?

How many times have you rushed

because it was getting LATE? :(
because it was almost TIME OUT? :(

How many times you just wished that you had SOME MORE TIME? :(

How many times have you delayed what you really wanted to do just because other stuff was piling up and you were unable to FIND TIME :(

Time time.. Clocking time

Turn back oh! Please turn back!

So let’s take one step with me in order to fix these leaks in time and save some to invest it where WE REALLY WANT. :)

“Fix the leaks” is a one week initiative to fix the time wastage from our lives. Imagine the time that you have in hand is supplied through a pipe and through this exercise we will inspect it for some MAJOR LEAKS. :)

It is a 3-step program and I will disclose the details with TIME… So let’s start with the first. :)

~~~

1. SPOT THE LEAK

The task is simple. All we have to do is TIME ourselves whenever we have to WAIT.
All those tic-tocs. Just list them like:

ACTION  |  TIME

Computer booting                                              2min

Waiting for someone to open the door       3min

File downloading                                                 5min

Waiting inline for your turn                         10 min

Waiting for the class to start                         10 min

TOTAL LEAKAGE                                               30 min

 

So until SATURDAY, time yourself every second you have to wait and list them. In the end post in your LIST.

SO STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT STEP ON SATURDAY AND DON”T FORGET TO TIME.

__________________________

|   TIP: Change one shortcut key |

|  on your mobile to stop watch  |

|  and get a correct estimation.   |

__________________________

I Think So…

Recently I learned a hadith:

“There is wisdom in some forms of poetry”

[Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud]

So I went to search some forms of decent poetry, and truly few were really amazing. Here is a glimpse of few:

The Victor
Poet: C.W. Longenecker

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

While I was reading it I started relating it to so many things in my mind like: we are required to strive and we will be accountable for WHY we did something? before going on to HOW we did it? All of these WHY’s are thoughts; intangible, unseen intentions; but in the end, they matter. They are the one that defines you, drives you. like a Mu’min is one who fears that his  sins are too heavy and hopes that his little good deeds will be accepted and this thoughts of fear and hope drives him, so he works more; that is exactly what the next poem is about – turn your thoughts into action and open the doors you thought were long closed..

Results and Roses
Poet: Edgar Guest

The man who wants a garden fair,
Or small or very big,
With flowers growing here and there,
Must bend his back and dig.

The things are mighty few on earth
That wishes can attain.
Whate’er we want of any worth
We’ve got to work to gain.

It matters not what goal you seek
Its secret here reposes:
You’ve got to dig from week to week
To get Results or Roses.

So work, work and work till it’s TIME’S UP. In other words, “DO JIHAD”. Don’t just SIT and THINK!

Jazakumullah for your time.