Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri (radiallaahu `anhu):
On ‘Id ul Fitr or ‘Id ul Adha Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) went out to the Musalla. After finishing the prayer, he delivered the sermon and ordered the people to give alms. He said, “O people! Give alms.” Then he went towards the women and said. “O women! Give alms, for I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-Fire were you (women).” The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)! What is the reason for it?” He replied, “O women! You curse frequently, and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. O women, some of you can lead a cautious wise man astray.” Then he left. And when he reached his house, Zainab (radiallaahu `anhaa), the wife of Ibn Masud (radiallaahu `anhu), came and asked permission to enter It was said, “O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)! It is Zainab (radiallaahu `anhaa).” He asked, ‘Which Zainab?” The reply was that she was the wife of Ibn Mas’ud (radiallaahu `anhu). He said, “Yes, allow her to enter.” And she was admitted. Then she said, “O Prophet of Allah (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)! Today you ordered people to give alms and I had an ornament and intended to give it as alms, but Ibn Masud (radiallaahu `anhu) said that he and his children deserved it more than anybody else.” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) replied, “Ibn Masud (radiallaahu `anhu) had spoken the truth. Your husband and your children had more right to it than anybody else.”
The Standing Committee (10/62) was asked:
Is it permissible for a woman to give the zakaah of her wealth to her husband if he is poor?
They replied: it is permissible for a woman to give the zakaah of her wealth to her husband if he is poor so as to ward off his poverty, because of the general meaning of the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“As-Sadaqaat (here it means Zakaah) are only for the Fuqaraa’ (poor), and Al-Masaakeen (the poor)”
More details on the subject here.
Narrated Abu Huraira (radiallaahu `anhu):
Abu Bakr (radiallaahu `anhu) said, “By Allah! If they (pay me the Zakat and) withhold even a she-kid which they used to pay during the lifetime of Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam), I will fight with them for it.” ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) said, “It was nothing but Allah Who opened Abu Bakr (radiallaahu `anhu)‘s chest towards the decision to fight, and I came to know that his decision was right.”
As the news of the Prophet’s death spread, a number of tribes rebelled and refused to pay Zakat (poor-due), saying that this was due only to the Prophet . At the same time a number of impostors claimed that the prophethood had passed to them after Muhammad and they raised the standard of revolt. To add to all this, two powerful empires, the Eastern Roman and the Persian, also threatened the new-born Islamic state at Medina.
Under these circumstances, many Companions of the Prophet, including Umar, advised Abu Bakr to make concessions to the Zakat evaders, at least for a time. They told him to accept their prayer from them and leave it up to Allah to judge them for denying Zakat. The new Caliph disagreed. He insisted that the Divine Law cannot be divided, that there is no distinction between the obligations of Zakat and Salat (prayer), and that any compromise with the injunctions of God would eventually erode the foundations of Islam. Umar and others were quick to realize their error of judgment. The revolting tribes attacked Medina but the Muslims were prepared. Abu Bakr himself led the charge, forcing them to retreat. He then made a relentless war on the false claimants to prophethood, most of whom submitted and again professed Islam.
The threat from the Roman Empire had actually arisen earlier, during the Prophet’s lifetime. The Prophet had organized an army under the command of Usama, the son of a freed slave. The army had not gone far when the Prophet had fallen ill so they stopped. After the death of the Prophet , the question was raised whether the army should be sent again or should remain for the defense of Medina. Again Abu Bakr showed a firm determination. He said, “I shall send Usama’s army on its way as ordered by the Prophet, even if I am left alone.”
Narrated Abu Huraira (radiallaahu `anhu):
The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “The example of a miser and an alms-giver is like the example of two persons wearing iron cloaks.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) also said, “The example of an alms-giver and a miser is like the example of two persons who have two iron cloaks on them from their breasts to their collar bones, and when the alms-giver wants to give in charity, the cloak becomes capacious till it covers his whole body to such an extent that it hides his fingertips and covers his footprints (obliterates his tracks). And when the miser wants to spend, it (the iron cloak) sticks and every ring gets stuck to its place and he tries to widen it, but it did not become wide.
May Allah make me understand the meaning of this example in depth. But the basic implication is that the generous person, when he spends, gets barakah in his wealth and reward. Even a little suffices him. And he spends even more in Allah’s way. As for the miser, his wealth only gets lesser and lesser, so even when he wants to spend, he can’t really find the means to do it. There’s no barakah in his wealth. Even a lot isn’t sufficient for him.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah’s Apostle (p.b.u.h) said, “A man said that he would give something in charity. He went out with his object of charity and unknowingly gave it to a thief. Next morning the people said that he had given his object of charity to a thief. (On hearing that) he said, “O Allah! All the praises are for you. I will give alms again.” And so he again went out with his alms and (unknowingly) gave it to an adulteress. Next morning the people said that he had given his alms to an adulteress last night. The man said, “O Allah! All the praises are for you. (I gave my alms) to an adulteress. I will give alms again.” So he went out with his alms again and (unknowingly) gave it to a rich person. (The people) next morning said that he had given his alms to a wealthy person. He said, “O Allah! All the praises are for you. (I had given alms) to a thief, to an adulteress and to a wealthy man.” Then someone came and said to him, “The alms which you gave to the thief, might make him abstain from stealing, and that given to the adulteress might make her abstain from illegal sexual intercourse (adultery), and that given to the wealthy man might make him take a lesson from it and spend his wealth which Allah has given him, in Allah’s cause.”
It’s good to keep a check on the person/place you’re spending on. But, let’s say, your charity went to someone not really ‘deserving’ (or so it might seem), then you don’t need to think it won’t get accepted. Your job was to give. And it’s for Allah to accept. So leave it on him. :)