Wrote this piece for Dr. Kanwal Kaisser to be published on the website made by herself and her team about parenting kids, named Hamaray Bachay. It’s been a while since this has been on their website so I thought I’d post it here too. You can find it under the tab of “Youth Talent Corner” on their website.
So how do you behave?
When your child comes home…
After a long active day
With all those stories to be told!
He doesn’t need your money
Not even a single dime
He just wants some love
And a few minutes of your precious time
But if you can’t even give that
Then you must be really rude
So when you watch him turn
Into a dude with attitude
You start getting angry
And you wonder why he’s so rude?!
You start asking yourself questions like
Where did I go wrong?
I taught him about Allah and His Prophet
But he hangs out with girls and listens to songs!
And when he starts to earn
Then he starts to ignore
Comes late every night
While in your sleep you snore
Then when you get old
And start getting pension
You’ll have everything
But not his attention
And then you’ll start to see
What your child really needed
He needed your attention
While you only feeded…
And if this made you see your life in flashes
You better start working on those minor clashes
Instead of thinking on why the conversation never starts
Bow down to Allah, the turner of hearts
He sends astray whom HE wants
And guides whom HE wills
Start praying for your child right now
So with love and mercy your hearts, He fills
And it all comes back to
How one behaves
Because Allah is not merciful to those
Who are not merciful to His slaves!
Know that Tahaarah (purification) has four levels:
The First: Purifying your physical appearance from impurities [such as defecation and urine], unclean things [such as excretions from the nostrils] and from having contact with impurities.
The Second: Purifying your limbs from committing sins.
The Third: Purifying your heart from bad mannerisms and abhorrent behavior.
The Fourth: Purifying your inner self from anything other than Allaah the Exalted [i.e Monotheism], and this is the upmost objective.
Whoever’s foresight is strong would turn to this objective, and whoever’s foresight is blinded would not understand except the first of these four levels. You would see him waste a lot of his precious time in excessively cleaning his nostrils or washing his clothes, believing that this is the only thing required from purification, due to lack of knowledge, listening to the whisperings [of Shaytaan] and ignorance of the ways of those of old, those who used to spend their time in purifying their hearts and were more negligent of their outward appearance…
…the affair has reached the point of a people called ‘ the foolish purifiers’, you see them spending most of their time purifying their physical appearance, while internally they are rotten, filled with the impurities of pride, conceitedness, ignorance, hypocrisy and boastfulness. If they were to see someone practicing Istijmaar with rocks, walking bear footed, praying on the floor without a mat, or performing Wudoo from an old person’s vessel, they would criticize him severely, label him with impure descriptions and would avoid eating his food.
So look at how they turned a person who dresses humbly – which is from Eemaan, into being unclean, and foolishness into purity. The turned ‘Munkar’ into ‘Ma’roof’ and ‘Ma’roof’ into ‘Munkar’.
However, whoever intends with his outward purification to be clean, and does not excessively waste water and does not believe that using a lot of water is from the religion, then this is not ‘Munkar’ rather it is a good to do so.
Whoever would like to know more about purification should refer to the books of Fiqh, for what is intended by this book [Mukhtasar Minhaaj al Qaasideen] is the clarification of mannerisms.
[Reference: Mukhtasar Minhaaj al Qaasideen : P. 31, Author: Ahmad ibn ‘Abdur Rahmaan Al Maqdisee]