Volume 3, Book 43, Number 661:
Narrated Anas (radiallaahu `anhu):
While the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) was with one of his wives, one of the mothers of the believers (i.e. one of his wives) sent a wooden bowl containing food with a servant. The wife (in whose house he was sitting) struck the bowl with her hand and broke it. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) collected the shattered pieces and put the food back in it and said, “Eat.” He kept the servant and the bowl till he had eaten the food. Then the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) gave another unbroken bowl to the servant and kept the broken one.
In another version (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 152), he said to the Companions who were present at the scene: “Your mother (my wife) felt jealous.”
This, to me, is mind-boggling. How can someone react so calmly to such a situation? If we suppose he kept his cool so as to not make a scene in front of the guests (like we do), why didn’t he give a deathly stare to Ayesha (radiallaahu `anhaa) that said, “I’ll deal with you later”? Yes, it was Ayesha (radiallaahu `anhaa) who broke the bowl having overcome by jealousy (like, ‘how dare she send food for him in my house?’).
Well, it’s simple. He understood the emotion behind Ayesha’s action and didn’t blame her for it. This shows how understanding and considerate he was of other people’s feelings. She didn’t praise his character for no reason.
P.S. note how he sends an unbroken, sound bowl back to the one who sent the food, so as to not let the matter get worse. If you accidentally break/damage someone’s property, you may return its worth in cash or thing, which means, you send them one of your own, if they’re alike in quality and cost, or buy them a new one.
Volume 3, Book 34, Number 431 :
Narrated by Anas (radiallaahu `anhu)
Amongst the captives was Safiya (radiallaahu `anhaa). First she was given to Dihya Al-Kalbi (radiallaahu `anhu) and then to the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam).
Volume 3, Book 34, Number 432 :
Narrated by Abu Said Al-Khudri (radiallaahu `anhu)
That while he was sitting with Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) he said, “O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)! We get female captives as our share of booty, and we are interested in their prices, what is your opinion about coitus interruptus?” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Do you really do that? It is better for you not to do it. No soul that which Allah has destined to exist, but will surely come into existence.
Coitus interruptus, also known as the rejected sexual intercourse, withdrawal or pull-out method, is a method of birth-control in which a man, during intercourse withdraws his penis from a woman’s vagina prior to orgasm (and ejaculation). The man then directs his ejaculate (semen) away from his partner’s vagina in an effort to avoid insemination. [Wikipedia]
Is family planning permissible?
It is permissible to use temporary means of contraception in order to increase the gaps between pregnancies, or to stop them for a limited period of time, if there is a valid shar’i reason for doing so, based on the couple’s estimation and with mutual consultation and agreement, subject to the condition that this does not result in harm and that the means is acceptable according to sharee’ah and will not damage any existing pregnancy.
Taken from: IslamQA
It is permissible for the spouses to agree on family planning so long as that is temporary and not a permanent thing – subject to the condition that the means used does not cause any harm to the woman.
Ruling on Coitus Interruptus (`Azl)
It is permissible to engage in coitus interruptus if a person does not want a child, and it is also permissible to use a condom, but that is subject to the condition that the wife gives her permission for that, because she has the right to full enjoyment and also to have a child. The evidence for that is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: We used to engage in coitus interruptus at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). News of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he did not forbid us to do that. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 250; Muslim, 160
Read more on it here.
Today’s Hadith is very much relevant to Kitaab-ul-Haydh, but my discussion will be a bit off-topic..
Narrated ‘Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad:
(on the authority of his father) ‘Aisha said: “Whenever Allah’s Apostle wanted to fondle anyone of us during her periods (menses), he used to order her to put on an Izar and start fondling her.” ‘Aisha added, “None of you could control his sexual desires as the Prophet could.”
Prophet (SAW) had nine wives at once. He didn’t have to control his desires. Yet, we find that his own wives testify to his amazing hold on himself. It’s a Sunnah that we need to follow. We need to control all sorts of desires, from food to sex. Even when we’re leading a Halal lifestyle, we can’t have everything we want, as much as we want and whenever we want. It’s a great quality to possess: control.
Don’t like what you read? Tell me, what’s the main purpose of the month of Ramadaan? What does being deprived of food, drink and sex teach you? Even though the food you eat is Halal, the stuff you drink is very much Halal as well, and you fulfill your desire with your very own spouse: totally Halal! Why are you then asked to restrain yourself from all these Halal things for a specific time period everyday for a month each year? Simple: to teach you self-control. That 30-day training is enough to last you the whole year. YES! You have to practice it outside Ramadaan as well. :)
As to the question ‘How?‘, it’s very simple.
- Start denying yourself your favorite food, hobby, pastime etc. You don’t have to do it all the time and every time. It could be a punishment you give yourself for not waking up for Fajr on time, for example. Personal experience: I deny myself breakfast (which I can’t live without) if I wake up late for Fajr. So I don’t have that habit Alhamdulillah.
- Voluntary Salah (prayer) and Sawm (fast). A very good way to achieve self-restraint! You’re so caught up in ‘Ibadah (worship), that you don’t really get time to think about other stuff. Or better, you don’t feel right when you think about other stuff. ;)
- Make du’a (invocation). Indeed a very useful tool for a believer. When nothing else works, du’a shows it’s miracles.
- Be firm with yourself. No excuses, no ‘going easy’. Tit for tat. And that’s it!