Foster Relationships (Ahadith 2310 – 2313)
Ahadith 2308 – 2309 (below) are repeats. Read them here.
Volume 3, Book 48, Number 810 :
Narrated by Anas (radiallaahu `anhu)
A funeral procession passed in front of the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and the people praised the deceased. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “It has been affirmed (Paradise).” Then another funeral procession passed by and the people talked badly of the deceased. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “It has been affirmed (Hell).” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) was asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! You said it has been affirmed for both?” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “The testimony of the people (is accepted), (for) the believer are Allah’s witnesses on the earth.”
Volume 3, Book 48, Number 811 :
Narrated by Abu Al-Aswad
Once I went to Medina where there was an outbreak of disease and the people were dying rapidly. I was sitting with ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) and a funeral procession passed by. The people praised the deceased. ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) said, “It has been affirmed” (Paradise). Then another funeral procession passed by. The people praised the deceased. ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) said, “It has been affirmed.” (Paradise). Then another funeral procession passed by. The people praised the deceased. ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) said, “It has been affirmed (Paradise).” Then a third funeral procession passed by and the people talked badly of the deceased. ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) said, “It has been affirmed (Hell).” I asked Umar (radiallaahu `anhu), “O chief of the believers! What has been affirmed?” He said, “I have said what the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said. He said, ‘Allah will admit into paradise any Muslim whose good character is attested by four persons.’ We asked the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam), ‘If there were three witnesses only?’ He said, ‘Even three.’ We asked, ‘If there were two only?’ He said, ‘Even two.’ But we did not ask him about one witness.”
Volume 3, Book 48, Number 812 :
Narrated by Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa)
Aflah asked the permission to visit me but I did not allow him. He said, “Do you veil yourself before me although I am your uncle?” ‘Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) said, “How is that?” Aflah replied, “You were suckled by my brother’s wife with my brother’s milk.” I asked Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) about it, and he said, “Aflah is right, so permit him to visit you.”
Volume 3, Book 48, Number 813 :
Narrated by Ibn ‘Abbas (radiallaahu `anhu)
The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said about Hamza’s daughter, “I am not legally permitted to marry her, as foster relations are treated like blood relations (in marital affairs). She is the daughter of my foster brother.”
Volume 3, Book 48, Number 814 :
Narrated by Amra bint ‘Abdur-Rahman
That ‘Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) the wife of the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) told her uncle that once, while the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) was in her house, she heard a man asking Hafsa’s (radiallaahu `anhaa) permission to enter her house. ‘Aisha said, “I said, ‘O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)! I think the man is Hafsa’s foster uncle.’ ” ‘Aisha added, “O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)! There is a man asking the permission to enter your house.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) replied, “I think the man is Hafsa’s foster uncle.” ‘Aisha said, “If so-and-so were living (i.e. her foster uncle) would he be allowed to visit me?” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Yes, he would, as the foster relations are treated like blood relations (in marital affairs).”
Volume 3, Book 48, Number 815 :
Narrated by Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa)
Once the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) came to me while a man was in my house. He said, “O ‘Aisha! Who is this (man)?” I replied, “My foster brothers” He said, “O ‘Aisha! Be sure about your foster brothers, as foster-ship is only valid if it takes place in the suckling period (before two years of age).”
There are two conditions for breastfeeding and foster relationship to be valid:
1. It should be five or more breastfeedings, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: “Among the things that were revealed of the Qur’aan was that ten definite breastfeedings make a person a mahram, then that was abrogated and replaced with five definite breastfeedings,” Narrated by Muslim, no. 1452.
2. That should be within the first two years of the child’s life, because of what is proven from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) in the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allah ibn al-Zubayr, that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no breastfeeding except that which fills the stomach.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1946); see also Saheeh al-Jaami‘, no. 7495. al-Bukhaari (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his Saheeh: “Chapter: One who says: There is no breastfeeding after two years because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling’ [al-Baqarah 2:233]”.
Breastfeeding means that the infant takes the nipple and suckles from it, then lets it go by himself, in order to breathe or move and the like. Based on that, the five breastfeedings may take place in one sitting.
The shar’i rulings concerning relationships through breastfeeding are not the same as the rulings concerning relationships through blood ties. Breastfeeding (radaa’ah) does not mean that one is obliged to spend on those relatives, or that one is entitled to inherit from them, or that one may be a guardian for the purpose of marriage – unlike the case with ties of blood.
What they have in common is that people related in either way are forbidden to marry, and may look at one another and be alone with one another, and are regarded as mahrams for the purpose of travel. Read more on this here.
Adoption in Islam (Hadith No. 2171)
Volume 3, Book 44, Number 674:
Narrated ‘Urwa bin Az-Zubair:
That he had asked ‘Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) about the meaning of the Statement of Allah: “If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice two or three or four.” (4.3)
She said, “O my nephew! This is about the orphan girl who lives with her guardian and shares his property. Her wealth and beauty may tempt him to marry her without giving her an adequate Mahr (bridal-money) which might have been given by another suitor. So, such guardians were forbidden to marry such orphan girls unless they treated them justly and gave them the most suitable Mahr; otherwise they were ordered to marry any other woman.” ‘Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) further said, “After that verse the people again asked the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) (about the marriage with orphan ‘girls), so Allah revealed the following verses:– ‘They ask your instruction concerning the women. Say: Allah Instructs you about them and about what is recited unto you In the Book, concerning the orphan girls to whom you give not the prescribed portions and yet whom you desire to marry…” (4.127)
What is meant by Allah’s Saying:- ‘And about what is recited unto you is the former verse which goes:- ‘If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice.’ (4.3) ‘Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) said, “Allah’s saying in the other verse:- ‘Yet whom you desire to marry’ (4.127) means the desire of the guardian to marry an orphan girl under his supervision when she has not much property or beauty (in which case he should treat her justly). The guardians were forbidden to marry their orphan girls possessing property and beauty without being just to them, as they generally refrain from marrying them (when they are neither beautiful nor wealthy).”
A common reader might find this weird – how can a guardian marry the orphan girl he’s upbringing? Incest? No. Because this is a case of sponsoring the orphan, that’s allowed in Islam, unlike adoption.
There is a difference between adoption and sponsoring orphans.
A – Adoption means that a man takes an orphan and makes him like one of his own children, calling him after him, so that the orphan is not allowed to marry one of the man’s daughters, and so the sons of the adoptive father are regarded as brothers of the orphan and his daughters are regarded as his sisters, and his (the father’s) sisters are regarded as his paternal aunts, and so on. This was one of the things that were done during the first Jaahiliyyah, and some of the Sahaabah carried the names of their adoptive fathers, as in the case of al-Miqdaad ibn al-Aswad whose real father’s name was ‘Amr, but he was called ibn (son of) al-Aswad, after the man who had adopted him.
This continued into the early days of Islam, until Allaah forbade that, according to a well-known story. Zayd ibn Haarithah was called Zayd ibn Muhammad, and he was the husband of Zaynab bint Jahsh, then Zayd divorced her.
It was narrated that Anas said: When Zaynab’s ‘iddah came to an end, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Zayd ibn Haarithah, “Go and tell her about me (that I want to marry her).” So he went to her and found her kneading dough. He said, “O Zaynab, good news. The Messenger of Allaah wants to marry you.” She said, “I will not do anything until I consult with my Lord.” Then she got up and went to her prayer-place, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and entered upon her.
Concerning this, Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning):
“And (remember) when you said to him (Zayd bin Haarithah the freed‑slave of the Prophet) on whom Allaah has bestowed grace (by guiding him to Islam) and you (O Muhammad too) have done favour (by manumitting him): ‘Keep your wife to yourself, and fear Allaah.’ But you did hide in yourself (i.e. what Allaah has already made known to you that He will give her to you in marriage) that which Allaah will make manifest, you did fear the people (i.e., their saying that Muhammad married the divorced wife of his manumitted slave) whereas Allaah had a better right that you should fear Him. So when Zayd had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the believers in respect of (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allaah’s Command must be fulfilled”
(Narrated by Muslim, 1428)
B – Allaah has forbidden adoption because it causes knowledge of people’s lineage to be lost, and we have been commanded to preserve people’s lineage.
It was narrated from Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “There is no man who knowingly calls himself after someone other than his father but he has committed kufr. Whoever claims to belong to people to whom he has no ties of blood, let him take his place in Hell.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3317; Muslim, 61)
What is meant by “committed kufr” is that he has done an act of kufr, not that he is beyond the pale of Islam.
This may generate hatred and resentment between the adopted son and the children of the adoptive father, because it will cause them to lose out on something that is rightfully theirs, which will go to this orphan unlawfully who they know is not entitled to it as they are.
Sponsoring an orphan means that a man brings the orphan to live in his house, or he sponsors him somewhere other than his house, without giving him his name or forbidding that which is permitted or permitting that which is forbidden, as is the case with adoption. Rather the one who sponsors an orphan is doing a generous deed. So there can be no comparison between one who sponsors an orphan and one who adopts a child, because of the great difference between them and because sponsoring orphans is something which is encouraged in Islam.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“…And they ask you concerning orphans. Say: The best thing is to work honestly in their property, and if you mix your affairs with theirs, then they are your brothers. And Allaah knows him who means mischief (e.g. to swallow their property) from him who means good (e.g. to save their property). And if Allaah had wished, He could have put you into difficulties. Truly, Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise”
The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that sponsoring orphans is a means of being together with him in Paradise.
It was narrated that Sahl ibn Sa’d said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I and the one who sponsors an orphan will be like this in Paradise” – and he gestured with his index and middle fingers, holding them slightly apart.
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4998)
But we must point out that when these orphans reach adolescence, they must be separated from the wives and daughters of the sponsor. We should not do good with one hand and do evil with the other. We should also note that the one who is sponsored may be an orphaned girl and she may be beautiful and may become attractive before adolescence, so the sponsor must watch his sons lest they fall into doing haraam things with the orphans, because this could happen and be a means of causing mischief which it will be difficult to put right.
Taken from IslamQA