By Madiha Nabeel
Like every mother I go to bed tired or exhausted or sometimes a bit of both. After serving dinner, doing dishes, preparing lunches, feeding kids, changing kids, putting kids to bed and praying `Ishaa etc., I reach for the bed to end the day. My body needs rest and my mind runs through a list of tasks and tries to organize, prioritize and sort them for the day ahead. But I make it, day in and day out, through school days and weekends, sick days and celebrations, I try to make it. Taking one day at a time. But once the dust of tasks and duties settles and the kids are fast asleep, I can finally hear nothing but my conscious and the self checklist begins (provided that I didn’t pass out by then). The list is long for us mothers because we check whether we did the necessary tasks and whether we did them right? And then did our kids do the right things and did they do them right?
It is when I can see the flaws and take notes for self like I am not serving enough iron rich food nowadays, for example, and from now on I will try to let my kid dress herself etc.
Having painted a regular day ending to you let me share two more pictures from the Quran with you:
قُلْ هَلْ نُنَبِّئُكُم بِٱلْأَخْسَرِينَ أَعْمَٰلًا
Say, [O Muhammad], “Shall we [believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds?
ٱلَّذِينَ ضَلَّ سَعْيُهُمْ فِى ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا وَهُمْ يَحْسَبُونَ أَنَّهُمْ يُحْسِنُونَ صُنْعًا
[They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in work.”
أُولَٰٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا بِئَايَٰتِ رَبِّهِمْ وَلِقَآئِهِۧ فَحَبِطَتْ أَعْمَٰلُهُمْ فَلَا نُقِيمُ لَهُمْ يَوْمَ ٱلْقِيَٰمَةِ وَزْنًا
Those are the ones who disbelieve in the verses of their Lord and in [their] meeting Him, so their deeds have become worthless; and We will not assign to them on the Day of Resurrection any importance.
And the second picture from Al-Ghashiyah
وُجُوهٌ يَوْمَيِذٍ خَـشِعَةٌ
تَصْلَى نَاراً حَامِيَةً
Some faces, that Day will be humiliated. Laboring, weary. They will enter in the hot blazing Fire. (88:2-4)
So on the day of judgement there will be some groups of people who will be waiting for the result of the worldly test and they will be tired and exhausted. The effort and struggle they did will be evident on their faces but the result will not something expected. They will not be rejoicing rather they will be overcome with regret and guilt. Imagine them like a champion on a losing team who made all the right efforts but targeted the wrong goal. Looking at their effort weighing nothing, looking at hell screaming in rage in front of them, they will realize they did terribly wrong.
So let’s do one thing when we go to bed. Let’s check whether we have made at least some effort in the right direction. This is the thought that changed my Duas. Now I pray, ‘oh Allah make me tired on the right path’. Because the older you get the more you accept the fact that this world is a test and not paradise. Also it is not meant to be paradise but like a test center it presents you with situations to test and record your answers. So you seriously start working out the solution to the test.
Hadith no. 2286 (below) is a repeat. Read it here.
Volume 3, Book 47, Number 788:
Narrated Ibn ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu):
Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) saw a silken cloak over a man for sale and requested the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) to buy it in order to wear it on Fridays and while meeting delegates. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “This is worn by the one who will have no share in the Hereafter.” Later on Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) got some silken cloaks similar to that one, and he sent one to ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu). ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) said to the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam), “How can I wear it, while you said about it what you said?” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “I have not given it to you to wear, but to sell or to give to someone else.” So, ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu) sent it to his brother at Mecca before he embraced Islam.
Volume 3, Book 47, Number 789:
Narrated Asma’ bint Abu Bakr (radiallaahu `anhaa):
My mother came to me during the lifetime of Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and she was a pagan. I said to Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) (seeking his verdict), “My mother has come to me and she desires to receive a reward from me, shall I keep good relations with her?” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Yes, keep good relation with her.”
One must continue to do good to the non believing mother and remember that her disbelief does not justify disobedience by the son or daughter and that doing her good does not contradict with their innocence of her as a non believer, on the contrary as it is stated in Verse 31:15 below, Allah has commanded us to treat the non believing parents kindly even if they strive to make their child a polytheist because of their rights as parents hoping that they will embrace Islam.
“But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that if which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.” (31:15)
Read more here.
In light of the frequently occurring earthquakes these days… Most of these signs can be found in various Hadiths of the Prophet (SallAllaahu Alaiyhi Wasallam). I tried to find the ones I could. See the links in sha Allah.
As we reach close to the end of times
The earth gets filled with sins and crimes
When Humans worse than animals behave
When a child treats his own mother as a slave (1)
When false prophets start to increase in number (2)
When you wake people up but they prefer to slumber
When the most loved person is a liar and deceiver
When the most hated person is a faithful believer
When even Muslims start believing in false prophecies
When no one is afraid of committing hypocrisy
When killing someone becomes a piece of cake
When while taking a life, a person’s hands don’t even shake (3)
When children of fornication are born everyday
When people stop caring if someone goes astray
When all of this gets too much to take
Then that is when the earth frequently starts to shake… (4)
Wrote this piece for Dr. Kanwal Kaisser to be published on the website made by herself and her team about parenting kids, named Hamaray Bachay. It’s been a while since this has been on their website so I thought I’d post it here too. You can find it under the tab of “Youth Talent Corner” on their website.
So how do you behave?
When your child comes home…
After a long active day
With all those stories to be told!
He doesn’t need your money
Not even a single dime
He just wants some love
And a few minutes of your precious time
But if you can’t even give that
Then you must be really rude
So when you watch him turn
Into a dude with attitude
You start getting angry
And you wonder why he’s so rude?!
You start asking yourself questions like
Where did I go wrong?
I taught him about Allah and His Prophet
But he hangs out with girls and listens to songs!
And when he starts to earn
Then he starts to ignore
Comes late every night
While in your sleep you snore
Then when you get old
And start getting pension
You’ll have everything
But not his attention
And then you’ll start to see
What your child really needed
He needed your attention
While you only feeded…
And if this made you see your life in flashes
You better start working on those minor clashes
Instead of thinking on why the conversation never starts
Bow down to Allah, the turner of hearts
He sends astray whom HE wants
And guides whom HE wills
Start praying for your child right now
So with love and mercy your hearts, He fills
And it all comes back to
How one behaves
Because Allah is not merciful to those
Who are not merciful to His slaves!
A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking (for some alms), but she found nothing with me except one date which I gave to her and she divided it between her two daughters, and did not eat anything herself, and then she got up and went away. Then the Prophet came in and I informed him about this story. He said, “Whoever is put to trial by these daughters and he treats them generously (with benevolence) then these daughters will act as a shield for him from Hell-Fire.” (See Hadith No. 24, Vol. 8).
Okay, so the first thing I did was: read this Hadith out to my mother. :D
Something for the parents: if you raise your daughters giving them true values of Islam, only then will they know their worth. They’re no less than gems!