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Parents – The Best of Jihad (Hadith No. 2644)

Bismillah.

Ahadith 2642 – 2643 (below) are repeats. Read the related post here.

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 246 :
Narrated by ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu)
Umar bin Al-Khattab (radiallaahu `anhu) gave a horse to be ridden in Allah’s Cause and then he found it being sold. He intended to purchase it. So, he consulted Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) who said, “Don’t buy it and don’t take back your gift of charity.”

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 247 :
Narrated by Aslam
I heard ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab (radiallaahu `anhu) saying, “I gave a horse to be ridden in Allah’s Cause and the person who got it intended to sell it or neglected it. So, I wanted to buy it as I thought he would sell it cheap. I consulted the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) who said, “Do not buy it even if for one Dirham, because he who takes back his gift is like a dog swallowing its vomit.”

Today’s Hadith:

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 248 :
Narrated by ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr (radiallaahu `anhu)
A man came to the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) asked him, “Are your parents alive?” He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said to him, “Then exert yourself in their service.”

Many things can be said about this, evidences brought from Quran and Sunnah to prove further importance of this hadith.. but I’ll mention here a story or two of the sahabah and their way of honoring and serving their parents. We hope and wish to be as dutiful as they were. May Allah make us more like them in all aspects of the deen.

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Dinaar from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar that a man from among the Bedouins met him on the road to Makkah. ‘Abd-Allaah greeted him with salaam, seated him on the donkey that he was riding and gave him a turban that he had been wearing on his head. Ibn Dinar said: We said to him: May Allaah guide you, they are just Bedouins and they would be content with little. ‘Abd-Allaah said: The father of this man was a friend of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab and I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The best act of kindness is for the son to uphold ties (of friendship) with those who were his father’s friends.” Narrated by Muslim, 2552.

According to another report narrated by Ibn ‘Umar: when he went out to Makkah, he had a donkey which he would ride when he got tired of riding his camel, and a turban which he tied around his head. One day whilst he was riding that donkey, a Bedouin passed by him. He said: Are you not So and so, the son of So and so? He said: Yes. He gave him the donkey that he was riding and said: Ride it. And he gave him the turban that he had been wearing on his head, and he said: Tie it around your head. Some of his companions said: May Allaah forgive you, you have given this Bedouin a donkey that you used to ride when you got tired of riding your camel and a turban that you used to wear on your head. He said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “The best act of kind of kindness is for a man to honour his father’s friend after he has died,” and (this man’s) father was a friend of ‘Umar.

Abu Hurayrah was appointed in charge of Madeenah by Marwaan. He lived in Dhu’l-Hulayfah (approximately ten kilometers from Madeenah) and his mother lived in one house and he lived in another. When he wanted to go out he would stand at her door, and say: Peace be upon you, O my mother, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And she would say: And upon you, O my son, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings. And he would say: May Allaah have mercy on you, as you brought me up when I was young. And she would say: May Allaah have mercy on you as you took care of me when I grew old. Then when he wanted to come in, he would do likewise.

[Taken from IslamQA]

Most of us, if not all, have parents alive today whom we take for granted. We think they’ll always be there to listen to our rants and tantrums, give in to our wishes sacrificing their own and make life better for us in every way possible. What we fail to do is imagine a world without them, to realize that there’ll come a time when they won’t be there anymore.. their comforting voice, their soothing touch and their reassuring presence – all gone. Yes, we’ll probably live to see that day when they’ll breathe their last. We might even be there holding their hand at that moment feeling devastated but unable to do anything about it. We fail to imagine all that and so we fail to serve our parents to the fullest while they’re alive and with us. We fail to honor them and to be dutiful to them as they deserve to be honored and obeyed. And hence we fail to succeed in the best of all jihads: parents.

Dua for #parents

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“Let My Parents Be Sacrificed for You!” (Hadith No. 2549)

Bismillah.

Ahadith 2547 – 2548 (below) are repeats. See linked text for related posts.

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 152 :
Narrated by Sahl (radiallaahu `anhu)
When the helmet of the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) was smashed on his head and blood covered his face and one of his front teeth got broken, ‘Ali (radiallaahu `anhu) brought the water in his shield and Fatima the Prophet’s daughter) washed him. But when she saw that the bleeding increased more by the water, she took a mat, burnt it, and placed the ashes on the wound of the Prophet and so the blood stopped oozing out.

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 153 :
Narrated by ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu)
The properties of Bani An-Nadir which Allah had transferred to His Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) as Fai Booty were not gained by the Muslims with their horses and camels. The properties therefore, belonged especially to Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) who used to give his family their yearly expenditure and spend what remained thereof on arms and horses to be used in Allah’s Cause.

Today’s Hadith:

Volume 4, Book 52, Number 154 :
Narrated by Ali (radiallaahu `anhu)
I never saw the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) saying, “Let my parents sacrifice their lives for you,” to any man after Sa’d (radiallaahu `anhu). I heard him saying (to him), “Throw (the arrows)! Let my parents sacrifice their lives for you.”

We come across many narrations in which the companions say these words to the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam): فِدَاكَ أَبِي وَأُمِّي (Let my father and mother be sacrificed for you!), but rarely do we see the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) doing the same for his companions, for it is indeed an honor not everyone deserves. If you read about the life of Sa’d bin Abi Waqas (radiallaahu `anhu), his noble qualities, his love for Allah and His deen and the sacrifices he made, you’ll see why he was one of the very few that the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said these words to.

Sa`d bin abi Waqqas

One might ask, are we allowed to say these words to other people, even besides the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)? The answer is yes, because the Sahabah and their followers (Tabi’oon) used to say it to each other among them. So saying it to the those who deserve it, like people you love for Allah’s sake, those with knowledge and those having higher ranks is permissible.

Treating Children Fairly (Ahadith 2257 – 2258)

Bismillah.

One of the most well-known ways in which parents favour some of their children over others is with regard to giving, which is something that is forbidden according to the laws of Allah. Among the bad effects that result from this kind of favouritism is that it causes children to be disobedient towards their parents, so that they do not all treat their parents with the same level of respect and kindness. Our Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) drew attention to that and clearly stated that favouritism in giving is wrongdoing and unfair.

Volume 3, Book 47, Number 759:
Narrated An-Nu’man bin Bashir (radiallaahu `anhu):
that his father took him to Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and said, “I have given this son of mine a slave.” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) asked, “Have you given all your sons the like?” He replied in the negative. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Take back your gift then.”

Volume 3, Book 47, Number 760:
Narrated ‘Amir:
I heard An-Nu’man bin Bashir (radiallaahu `anhu) on the pulpit saying, “My father gave me a gift but ‘Amra bint Rawaha (my mother) said that she would not agree to it unless he made Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) as a witness to it. So, my father went to Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and said, ‘I have given a gift to my son from ‘Amra bint Rawaha, but she ordered me to make you as a witness to it, O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)!’ Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) asked, ‘Have you given (the like of it) to everyone of your sons?’ He replied in the negative. Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, ‘Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.’ My father then returned and took back his gift.”

Just as Allah, may He be exalted, has forbidden this favouritism among children in giving, He has also forbidden something else, namely making a bequest to any one of them. He has forbidden making a bequest to an heir (one who automatically inherits according to sharee‘ah). All these rulings are in the best interests of the family and lay the foundations for family unity, not division.

Read more on this here.

The Forbidden and the Disliked (Hadith No. 2088)

Bismillah.

Volume 3, Book 41, Number 591 :
Narrated by Al-Mughira bin Shu’ba (radiallaahu `anhu)
The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Allah has forbidden for you, (1) to be undutiful to your mothers, (2) to bury your daughters alive, (3) to not to pay the rights of the others (e.g. charity, etc.) and (4) to beg of men (begging). And Allah has hated for you (1) vain, useless talk, or that you talk too much about others, (2) to ask too many questions, (in disputed religious matters) and (3) to waste the wealth (by extravagance).

The Difference between “Forbidden” (Haraam) and “Hated/Disliked” (Makrooh):

Makrooh in Arabic means the opposite of liked or loved.

In the terminology of sharee’ah it means that which the Lawgiver asks us not to do, but not in a definitive manner. It may be said that it means that for which the person who does not do it out of obedience will be rewarded, but the one who does it will not be punished.

Haraam in Arabic means forbidden.

In the terminology of sharee’ah it means, that which the Lawgiver requires us not to do, in a definitive manner. Haraam is the opposite of halaal (permitted). A person will be rewarded for not doing that which is haraam, if he does so out of obedience, and not out of fear, shyness or the inability to do it; in those cases he will not be rewarded for not doing it.


Keeping all this in mind, we’re all in big trouble when it comes to being dutiful to our mothers! May Allah make us more obedient, respectful and loving towards our parents.

 

So How Do You Behave?

Wrote this piece for Dr. Kanwal Kaisser to be published on the website made by herself and her team about parenting kids, named Hamaray Bachay. It’s been a while since this has been on their website so I thought I’d post it here too. You can find it under the tab of “Youth Talent Corner” on their website.

 

So how do you behave?

When your child comes home…

After a long active day

With all those stories to be told!

 

He doesn’t need your money

Not even a single dime

He just wants some love

And a few minutes of your precious time

 

But if you can’t even give that

Then you must be really rude

So when you watch him turn

Into a dude with attitude

You start getting angry

And you wonder why he’s so rude?!

Attitude

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You start asking yourself questions like

Where did I go wrong?

I taught him about Allah and His Prophet

But he hangs out with girls and listens to songs!

 

And when he starts to earn

Then he starts to ignore

Comes late every night

While in your sleep you snore

 

Then when you get old

And start getting pension

You’ll have everything

But not his attention

 

And then you’ll start to see

What your child really needed

He needed your attention

While you only feeded…

 

And if this made you see your life in flashes

You better start working on those minor clashes

Instead of thinking on why the conversation never starts

Bow down to Allah, the turner of hearts

 

He sends astray whom HE wants

And guides whom HE wills

Start praying for your child right now

So with love and mercy your hearts, He fills

 

And it all comes back to

How one behaves

Because Allah is not merciful to those

Who are not merciful to His slaves!

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