Today’s Hadith is very much relevant to Kitaab-ul-Haydh, but my discussion will be a bit off-topic..
Narrated ‘Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad:
(on the authority of his father) ‘Aisha said: “Whenever Allah’s Apostle wanted to fondle anyone of us during her periods (menses), he used to order her to put on an Izar and start fondling her.” ‘Aisha added, “None of you could control his sexual desires as the Prophet could.”
Prophet (SAW) had nine wives at once. He didn’t have to control his desires. Yet, we find that his own wives testify to his amazing hold on himself. It’s a Sunnah that we need to follow. We need to control all sorts of desires, from food to sex. Even when we’re leading a Halal lifestyle, we can’t have everything we want, as much as we want and whenever we want. It’s a great quality to possess: control.
Don’t like what you read? Tell me, what’s the main purpose of the month of Ramadaan? What does being deprived of food, drink and sex teach you? Even though the food you eat is Halal, the stuff you drink is very much Halal as well, and you fulfill your desire with your very own spouse: totally Halal! Why are you then asked to restrain yourself from all these Halal things for a specific time period everyday for a month each year? Simple: to teach you self-control. That 30-day training is enough to last you the whole year. YES! You have to practice it outside Ramadaan as well. :)
As to the question ‘How?‘, it’s very simple.
- Start denying yourself your favorite food, hobby, pastime etc. You don’t have to do it all the time and every time. It could be a punishment you give yourself for not waking up for Fajr on time, for example. Personal experience: I deny myself breakfast (which I can’t live without) if I wake up late for Fajr. So I don’t have that habit Alhamdulillah.
- Voluntary Salah (prayer) and Sawm (fast). A very good way to achieve self-restraint! You’re so caught up in ‘Ibadah (worship), that you don’t really get time to think about other stuff. Or better, you don’t feel right when you think about other stuff. ;)
- Make du’a (invocation). Indeed a very useful tool for a believer. When nothing else works, du’a shows it’s miracles.
- Be firm with yourself. No excuses, no ‘going easy’. Tit for tat. And that’s it!