Unique Virtue of `Uthman ibn `Affan (Hadith No. 2756)
Volume 4, Book 53, Number 359 :
Narrated by Ibn ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu)
‘Uthman (radiallaahu `anhu) did not join the Badr battle because he was married to one of the daughters of Allah’s Apostle and she was ill. So, the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said to him. “You will get a reward and a share (from the war booty) similar to the reward and the share of one who has taken part in the Badr battle.”
Read this hadith in Arabic here.
This hadith is part of another longer narration which comes in Book 57 of Bukhari:
Narrated ‘Uthman (the son of Muhib):
An Egyptian who came and performed the Hajj to the Kaba saw some people sitting. He inquired, “Who are these people?” Somebody said, “They are the tribe of Quraish.” He said, “Who is the Shaikh among them?” The people replied, “He is ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar.” He said, “O Ibn Umar! I want to ask you about something; please tell me about it. Do you know that ‘Uthman fled away on the day (of the battle) of Uhud?” Ibn ‘Umar said, “Yes.” The (Egyptian) man said, “Do you know that ‘Uthman was absent on the day (of the battle) of Badr and did not join it?” Ibn ‘Umar said, “Yes.” The man said, “Do you know that he failed to attend the Ar Ridwan pledge and did not witness it (i.e. Hudaibiya pledge of allegiance)?” Ibn ‘Umar said, “Yes.” The man said, “Allahu Akbar!” Ibn ‘Umar said, “Come, let me explain to you. As for his flight on the day of Uhud, I testify that Allah has excused him and forgiven him; and as for his absence from the battle of Badr, it was due to the fact that the daughter of Allah’s Apostle was his wife and she was sick then. Allah’s Apostle said to him, “You will receive the same reward and share (of the booty) as anyone of those who participated in the battle of Badr.’ As for his absence from the Ar-Ridwan pledge of allegiance, had there been any person in Mecca more respectable than ‘Uthman (to be sent as a representative). Allah’s Apostle would have sent him instead of him. No doubt, Allah’s Apostle had sent him, and the incident of the Ar-Ridwan pledge of Allegiance happened after ‘Uthman had gone to Mecca. Allah’s Apostle held out his right hand saying, ‘This is ‘Uthman’s hand.’ He struck his (other) hand with it saying, ‘This (pledge of allegiance) is on the behalf of ‘Uthman.’ Then Ibn ‘Umar said to the man, ‘Go now with this with you.’
[Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 57, Number 48]
Not taking part in the battle of Badr and still getting a share in its booty and reward was a virtue unique to Uthman (radiallaahu `anhu). He had the intention to go and fight but Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) asked him to stay and look after his wife, Ruqayyah (radiallaahu `anhaa). She died before the army returned victorious. So on one hand, the Prophet was happy about the win over Quraysh, he grieved the loss of his daughter.
The Muslim Gentleman (Ahadith 2715 – 2716)
Hadith no. 2714 (below) is a repeat. Read it here.
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 317 :
Narrated by Abdullah (radiallaahu `anhu)
When the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) returned (from Jihad), he would say Takbir thrice and add, “We are returning, if Allah wishes, with repentance and worshipping and praising (our Lord) and prostrating ourselves before our Lord. Allah fulfilled His Promise and helped His Slave, and He Alone defeated the (infidel) clans.”
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 318 :
Narrated by Anas bin Malik (radiallaahu `anhu)
We were in the company of the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) while returning from ‘Usfan, and Allah’s Apostle was riding his she-camel keeping Safiya bint Huyay (radiallaahu `anhaa) riding behind him. His she-camel slipped and both of them fell down. Abu Talha (radiallaahu `anhu) jumped from his camel and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! May Allah sacrifice me for you.” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Take care of the lady.” So, Abu Talha covered his face with a garment and went to Safiya (radiallaahu `anhaa) and covered her with it, and then he set right the condition of their she-camel so that both of them rode, and we were encircling Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) like a cover. When we approached Medina, the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “We are returning with repentance and worshipping and praising our Lord.” He kept on saying this till he entered Medina.
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 319 :
Narrated by Anas bin Malik (radiallaahu `anhu)
That he and Abu Talha (radiallaahu `anhu) came in the company of the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and Safiya (radiallaahu `anhaa) was accompanying the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam), who let her ride behind him on his she-camel. During the journey, the she-camel slipped and both the Prophet and (his) wife fell down. Abu Talha (the sub-narrator thinks that Anas said that Abu Talha jumped from his camel quickly) said, “O Allah’s Apostle! May Allah sacrifice me for your sake! Did you get hurt?” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) replied,”No, but take care of the lady.” Abu Talha (radiallaahu `anhu) covered his face with his garment and proceeded towards her and covered her with his garment, and she got up. He then set right the condition of their she-camel and both of them (i.e. the Prophet and his wife) rode and proceeded till they approached Medina. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “We are returning with repentance and worshipping and praising our Lord.” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) kept on saying this statement till he entered Medina.
“Take care of the lady” = How to be a gentleman 101.
Abu Aaliyah, blogger at The Humble “I”, talks about being a true gentleman under Islamic guidelines:
It is often claimed that in Victorian or Edwardian England, respectability essentially meant maintaining a reputable facade while encouraging all sorts of hypocrisies. How much or how little can one generalise in such a matter is up for debate. Yet at its core, the widely cherished notion that there was a respectable way to conduct oneself; that there was a decent and honourable way of being a true “gentleman” (as opposed to a hypocritical one) – well that’s a very Islamic idea. A gentleman was someone who was restrained, courteous, considerate, well mannered, had public dignity, and was aware of boundaries; particularly when in mixed company.
The Islamic concept of futuwwah, “spiritual chivalry,” is where we find the ideals of the true Muslim gentleman best expressed. Futuwwah embodies the virtues of dignity and respectability (haybah), refined and noble conduct (adab), and preferring others to oneself (ithar), along with courage (shaja‘ah), magnanimity (sakha’ah) and striving to destroy the idols of one’s ego (mujahadat al-nafs).
Society no longer speaks of a true gentleman. That’s of a bygone era – of Edwardian England; an Englishness long dead and buried. As a nation we need to review where this has led us: if it’s been, on balance, for our betterment? Furthermore, as Muslims themselves start to relax these principles, can we see in where it has led others, where we too might be heading?
An excerpt from an article written by Imam Khalid Latif on the same topic:
In the Qur’an, the Prophet Abraham, peace be upon him, is referred to in Arabic as fata, a young, noble man who knows how to handle his responsibilities. His sense of integrity and commitment are remarkable.
From this word fata is derived the Arabic word, futuwwa, which essentially translates as chivalry. Being gentle, loyal, modest, honest, compassionate, humble, trustworthy and selfless is having futuwwa. In the medieval period of Islam, orders were established around this principle of futuwwa that emphasized members uphold these traits and seek to serve society, putting their needs after the needs of those around them. They would teach young men how to honor their responsibilities while today we are forced to figure it out on our own. Chivalry is in our tradition. We just have to embrace it again and empower individuals to be those role models that our communities desperately need.
[Read more: Are You a ‘Muslim’ Gentleman?]
So chivalry is not just how the Western culture sees it; holding the door open, pulling out the chair, paying for dinner/date etc. This is all just one aspect of it. The true concept of being a gentleman has much more to it than appearances and treatment of women (not the least important by any means), it has to do with maturity, modesty, dignity, compassion, honesty etc.
An interesting blog I came across that gives equal importance to self-grooming for the “modern Muslim gentleman” and includes tips and how-to’s, check out “thegentlemuslimman“.
Shaytaan: The Third Wheel (Hadith No. 2646)
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 250 :
Narrated by Ibn Abbas (radiallaahu `anhu)
That he heard the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) saying, “It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman, and no lady should travel except with a Mahram (i.e. her husband or a person whom she cannot marry in any case for ever; e.g. her father, brother, etc.).” Then a man got up and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I have enlisted in the army for such-and-such Ghazwa and my wife is proceeding for Hajj.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Go, and perform the Hajj with your wife.”
It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his mahram, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with them.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1862) and Muslim (1341). And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1171) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated in Sharh Muslim (14/153) that there was consensus among the scholars that it is haraam for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his mahram. This was narrated by al-Haafiz in al-Fath (4/77).
“Being alone with” (khalwah) refers to when the man and woman are in a place where no one can see them.
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked: Does khalwah (“being alone with”) refer to when a man is alone with a woman in some house, far away from the eyes of people, or does it refer to any situation in which a man is alone with a woman, even if they can be seen by others?
They replied: What is meant by the “being alone with” (khalwah) that is forbidden in sharee‘ah is not only when a man is alone with a woman who is not his mahram in a place where they cannot be seen; rather it also includes situations in which he is alone with her in a place where she can converse with him and he can converse with her, even if they can be seen by other people, but their words cannot be heard, whether that is out in the open or in a car or on the roof of a house, and so on. That is because khalwah has been forbidden because it is the harbinger of zina and the means that leads to it. So everything that could lead to that, even making an arrangement to do that later, comes under the ruling of physical khalwah or being alone in a place where they cannot be seen. End quote.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allah ibn Baaz; Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi; Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn Ghadyaan; Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn Qa ‘ood
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 17/57
Khalwah can be avoided with the presence of a mahram or the presence of a righteous woman, according to the correct opinion.
It says in Asna’l-Mataalib (3/407): It is permissible for a man to be alone with two women, but not the opposite; i.e., it is not permissible for two non-mahram men to be alone with a woman even if it is unlikely that they would agree to commit immoral actions, as was clearly stated by al-Nawawi in al-Majmoo‘; that is because a woman feels more shy of another woman than a man feels shy of another man.
Can He Propose to an Engaged Woman? [+1] (Ahadith 2381 – 2385)
Ahadith 2381 – 2385 (below) are repeats. See linked text to for related posts.
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 883 :
Narrated by Rafi bin Khadij (radiallaahu `anhu)
We used to work on the fields more than the other Ansar, and we used to rent the land (for the yield of a specific portion of it). But sometimes that portion or the rest of the land did not give any yield, so we were forbidden (by the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)) to follow such a system, but we were allowed to rent the land for money.
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 884 :
Narrated by Abu Huraira (radiallaahu `anhu)
The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “No town-dweller should sell for a bedouin. Do not practice Najsh (i.e. Do not offer a high price for a thing which you do not want to buy, in order to deceive the people). No Muslim should offer more for a thing already bought by his Muslim brother, nor should he demand the hand of a girl already engaged to another Muslim. A Muslim woman shall not try to bring about The divorce of her sister (i.e. another Muslim woman) in order to take her place herself.”
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 885 :
Narrated by Abu Huraira and Zaid bin Khalid Al-Juhani (radiallaahu `anhumaa)
A bedouin came to Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and said, “O Allah’s apostle! I ask you by Allah to judge My case according to Allah’s Laws.” His opponent, who was more learned than he, said, “Yes, judge between us according to Allah’s Laws, and allow me to speak.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Speak.” He (i .e. the bedouin or the other man) said, “My son was working as a laborer for this (man) and he committed illegal sexual intercourse with his wife. The people told me that it was obligatory that my son should be stoned to death, so in lieu of that I ransomed my son by paying one hundred sheep and a slave girl. Then I asked the religious scholars about it, and they informed me that my son must be lashed one hundred lashes, and be exiled for one year, and the wife of this (man) must be stoned to death.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, I will judge between you according to Allah’s Laws. The slave-girl and the sheep are to be returned to you, your son is to receive a hundred lashes and be exiled for one year. You, Unais, go to the wife of this (man) and if she confesses her guilt, stone her to death.” Unais went to that woman next morning and she confessed. Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) ordered that she be stoned to death.
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 886 :
Narrated by Aiman Al-Makki
When I visited Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) she said, “Buraira who had a written contract for her emancipation for a certain amount came to me and said, “O mother of the believers! Buy me and manumit me, as my masters will sell me.” Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) agreed to it. Buraira said, ‘My masters will sell me on the condition that my Wala will go to them.” Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) said to her, ‘Then I am not in need of you.’ The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) heard of that or was told about it and so he asked Aisha, ‘What is the problem of Buraira?’ He said, ‘Buy her and manumit her, no matter what they stipulate.’ Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) added, ‘I bought and manumitted her, though her masters had stipulated that her Wala would be for them.’ The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, The Wala is for the liberator, even if the other stipulated a hundred conditions.“
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 887 :
Narrated by Abu Huraira (radiallaahu `anhu)
Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) forbade (1) the meeting of the caravan (of goods) on the way, (2) and that a residing person buys for a bedouin, (3) and that a woman stipulates the divorce of the wife of the would-be husband, (4) and that a man tries to cause the cancellation of a bargain concluded by another. He also forbade An-Najsh and that one withholds the milk in the udder of the animal so that he may deceive people on selling it.
Most of the points in the above mentioned ahadith have been covered before (see links). We’ll cover the remaining ones here:
Ruling on proposing marriage to a girl who is already engaged (same rule applies to a man who tries to cause the cancellation of a bargain concluded by another).
If a person has proposed marriage to a woman, it is not permitted for anyone else to offer a proposal to her, because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746).
There follow quotations from Ibn Hijr’s commentary which will shed more light on the matter:
The majority of scholars said: This amounts to a prohibition… The Shaafi’is and Hanbalis said: it is prohibited when the woman proposed to, or her appointed guardian, has stated that she accepts the offer, but if she has stated that she rejects this offer, it is not prohibited. If the second man does not know the situation, then he is permitted to propose marriage, because the basic principle is that proposing marriage is something permitted… If the woman has not answered either way, it is permitted. Al-Tirmidhi reported from al-Shaafi’i that the meaning of the hadeeth is: if a man proposes to a woman and she likes him and accepts, no-one else should propose to her after that, but if he (the second man) does not know that she liked and accepted that proposal, there is nothing wrong with his proposing to her. The evidence for this is the story of Faatimah bint Qays, who did not tell (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) that she had accepted the proposal of one (of two men who had proposed to her). If she had told him, he would not have advised her to marry someone other than the one she had chosen. If there is no word of acceptance or rejection from the woman, some of the Shaafi’is say that it is definitely permitted… Al-Shaafi’i said that in the case of a virgin, her silence indicates her acceptance of a suitor.
The hadeeth was interpretated as meaning that if the first man to propose gives permission to the second, it is no longer prohibited for him to propose. … It was reported from Ibn al-Qaasim, the companion of Maalik, that if the first suitor is immoral, a chaste man is permitted to propose over his proposal. Ibn al-‘Arabi said that this was correct… This is applicable if the woman is chaste, because an immoral man would not be compatible for her, and his proposal would be like no proposal at all.
The phrase “until he marries her”* means until the first suitor has gone ahead and married her, so that anyone else will realize that there is no longer any point in proposing; “or gives up” means that the first suitor decides not to go ahead, in which case it is permitted for the second to offer his proposal.
* Please note these words are in another Riwaayah…
Taken from IslamQA
Ruling on a woman stipulating at the time of marriage that her husband-to-be has to divorce his first wife.
Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Azeez ar-Raajihi said:
If a woman stipulates at the time of the [marriage] contract that [her husband-to-be] is not to marry again whilst he remains married to her, then this condition is valid, and she is allowed to make such a stipulation. So if he remarries, then she has a choice: If she wishes – she can remain with him, and if she wishes – she can [legally] be divorced from him.
If she stipulates at the time of the [marriage] contract that [her husband-to-be] is to divorce his first wife, but he does not, then [in this case] he is not required to do so. The reason being thatthis condition is invalid because of the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):
“It is not permissible for a woman to demand her sister’s divorce so that she may take her place and get married. She cannot have more than what is decreed for her.”
[Saheeh Muslim/1408, Musnad Ahmad/2-489]
…so he forbade the stipulation of this condition. And [in legal terms] a forbiddance amounts to invalidity, so this [hadeeth] implies that such a condition is indeed invalid.
Source: Taqyeed ash-Shawaarid min al-Qawaa’id wal-Fawaa’id – Page 284-285