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Shaytaan: The Third Wheel (Hadith No. 2646)
Bismillah.
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 250 :
Narrated by Ibn Abbas (radiallaahu `anhu)
That he heard the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) saying, “It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman, and no lady should travel except with a Mahram (i.e. her husband or a person whom she cannot marry in any case for ever; e.g. her father, brother, etc.).” Then a man got up and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I have enlisted in the army for such-and-such Ghazwa and my wife is proceeding for Hajj.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Go, and perform the Hajj with your wife.”
It is not permissible for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his mahram, because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man should be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram with them.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1862) and Muslim (1341). And he (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1171) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated in Sharh Muslim (14/153) that there was consensus among the scholars that it is haraam for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his mahram. This was narrated by al-Haafiz in al-Fath (4/77).
“Being alone with” (khalwah) refers to when the man and woman are in a place where no one can see them.
The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked: Does khalwah (“being alone with”) refer to when a man is alone with a woman in some house, far away from the eyes of people, or does it refer to any situation in which a man is alone with a woman, even if they can be seen by others?
They replied: What is meant by the “being alone with” (khalwah) that is forbidden in sharee‘ah is not only when a man is alone with a woman who is not his mahram in a place where they cannot be seen; rather it also includes situations in which he is alone with her in a place where she can converse with him and he can converse with her, even if they can be seen by other people, but their words cannot be heard, whether that is out in the open or in a car or on the roof of a house, and so on. That is because khalwah has been forbidden because it is the harbinger of zina and the means that leads to it. So everything that could lead to that, even making an arrangement to do that later, comes under the ruling of physical khalwah or being alone in a place where they cannot be seen. End quote.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allah ibn Baaz; Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi; Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn Ghadyaan; Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn Qa ‘ood
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 17/57
Khalwah can be avoided with the presence of a mahram or the presence of a righteous woman, according to the correct opinion.
It says in Asna’l-Mataalib (3/407): It is permissible for a man to be alone with two women, but not the opposite; i.e., it is not permissible for two non-mahram men to be alone with a woman even if it is unlikely that they would agree to commit immoral actions, as was clearly stated by al-Nawawi in al-Majmoo‘; that is because a woman feels more shy of another woman than a man feels shy of another man.
End quote.
[IslamQA]
Bad Omens (Ahadith 2505 – 2506)
Bismillah.
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 110 :
Narrated by ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar (radiallaahu `anhu)
I heard the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) saying. “Evil omen is in three things: The horse, the woman and the house.”
Volume 4, Book 52, Number 111 :
Narrated by Sahl bin Sad Saidi (radiallaahu `anhu)
Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said “If there is any evil omen in anything, then it is in the woman, the horse and the house.”
What is proven in the Sunnah is that it is forbidden to believe in bad omens (tatayyur) or warn others about them, and that this is a kind of shirk. For example, al-Bukhaari (5776) and Muslim (2224) narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no ‘adwa (transmission of infectious disease without the permission of Allaah) and no tiyarah (superstitious belief in bird omens), but I like optimism.” They said, “What is optimism?” He said, “A good word.”
Ahmad (4194), Abu Dawood (3910), al-Tirmidhi (1614) and Ibn Maajah (3538) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Tiyarah (belief in evil omens) is shirk.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Ahmad (7045) and al-Tabaraani narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever lets tiyarah stop him from doing something is guilty of shirk.” They said, “What is the kafaarah for that?” He said, “To say: Allaahumma la khayra illaa khayruka wa laa tayra illaa tayruka wa laa ilaaha ghayruka (O Allaah, there is no good except Your good, no birds (omens) except from You, and there is no god beside You).” [Classed as hasan by al-Arna’oot and as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 6264]
Al-Tabaraani narrated in al-Kabeer from ‘Imraan ibn Husayn that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who practices augury [seeking omens in birds] or has that done for him, or who practices divination or has that done for him, or who practices witchcraft or has that done for him.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 5435.
Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Muslim, no. 2224:
Tatayyur (belief in bad omens) is pessimism, and is based on something disliked, be it a word or action or something seen… They used to startle birds to make them move; if they went to the right they would regard that as a good omen and go ahead with their journeys or other plans, but if they went to the left they would cancel their journeys and plans, and regard that as a bad omen. So it would often prevent them from doing things that were in their interests. Islam cancelled out all that and forbade it, and said that it had no effect, whether good or bad. This is what is meant by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “There is no tiyarah (superstitious belief in bird omens),” and in another hadeeth, “Tiyarah is shirk” – i.e., the belief that it can bring benefit or harm, if they act upon it believing that it has any effect, then this is shirk, because they think that it has an effect on what one does or that it can make things happen.
This is the basic principle regarding bad omens (tatayyur). But there are ahaadeeth which indicate that a bad omen may be in a woman, a house or a horse.
Al-Bukhaari (5093) and Muslim (2252) narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Bad omens are in a woman, a house and a horse.”
Al-Bukhaari (5094) and Muslim, (2252) narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: Mention of bad omens was made in the presence of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If bad omens are to be found in anything, it is in a house, a woman and a horse.”
Abu Dawood (3924) narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: A man said: “O Messenger of Allaah, we were in a house and our numbers and wealth were great, then we moved to another house where our numbers and wealth decreased.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Leave it, it is bad.” This hadeeth was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
The scholars differed concerning these ahaadeeth and how to reconcile them with the ahaadeeth that forbid tatayyur. Some of them interpreted them as they appear to be, and said that this is an exception from the ruling on tatayyur, i.e., that tatayyur is forbidden unless a person has a house which he does not want to live in, or a wife whom he does not want to keep company with, or a horse or servant, all of which he should get rid of by selling them, or by divorcing the wife.
Others said that a house may be regarded as a bad omen when it is too small, or there are bad neighbours who cause trouble; a woman may be regarded as a bad omen when she does not produce children, or she has a sharp tongue, or she behaves in a suspicious manner; a horse may be regarded as a bad omen when it is not used in jihad, or it was said, when it is difficult to handle or it is too expensive; and a servant may be regarded as a bad omen when he has a bad attitude or is not trustworthy or reliable.
Sharh al-Nawawi ‘ala Muslim.
The correct view is that all types of belief in bad omens are condemned, and that no kinds of women, houses or animals can cause harm or bring benefit except by Allaah’s leave. Allaah is the Creator of both good and evil. A person may be tested with a wife who has a bad attitude, or a house in which there is a lot of problems, in which case it is prescribed for him to rid himself of these things, fleeing from the decree of Allaah to the decree of Allaah, and so as to avoid falling into pessimism and belief in bad omens which is forbidden.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
“Another group said: regarding these three as bad omens only affects those who believe in that. Whoever puts his trust in Allaah and does not believe in omens and superstition, that does not affect him. They said: this is indicated by the hadeeth of Anas, ‘A bad omen only affects the one who believes in it.’ If a person believes in bad omens, Allaah may make that the cause of bad things happening to him, just as He may make trust in Him and making Him alone the focus of one’s fear and hope one of the main causes of warding off evil that people may superstitiously expect.
The reason for that is that tiyarah (superstitious belief in omens) implies shirk or associating others with Allaah, fearing others besides Him and not putting one’s trust in Him. The superstitious person attracts evil to himself, so the superstition affects him more, because he did not protect himself with belief in Allaah alone and trust in Allaah. If a person fears something other than Allaah, it gains control over him and he is tormented by it; if he loves something else as well as Allaah, he will be tormented by it; if he puts his hope in something alongside Allaah he will be let down by it. These matters are well known from real life and there is no need to provide further evidence. Everyone inevitably feels superstitious but the strong believer wards off those superstitious feelings by putting his trust in Allaah. Whoever puts his trust in Allaah, He will suffice him and he will have no need of anyone or anything else. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“So when you want to recite the Qur’aan, seek refuge with Allaah from Shaytaan (Satan), the outcast (the cursed one).
Verily, he has no power over those who believe and put their trust only in their Lord (Allaah).
His power is only over those who obey and follow him (Satan), and those who join partners with Him (Allaah, i.e. those who are Mushrikoon, i.e., polytheists)”
[al-Nahl 16:98]
Hence Ibn Mas’ood said: “All of us sometimes feel superstitious, but Allaah causes it to disappear when we put our trust in Him.” They said: superstition with regard to houses, women and horses may affect only those who believe in it; as for the one who puts his trust in Allaah and fears Him alone, and does not believe in bad omens, then horses, women and houses cannot be bad omens for him.
Then he said:
Whoever believes that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) attributed a superstitious effect to anything in the sense that it may have an effect in and of itself independently of Allaah is telling a serious lie against Allaah and His Messenger and has gone far astray. His speaking of bad omens existing in these three things does not constitute proof of what he had denied before. All it means is that Allaah may a superstitious effect in objects for those who come near them or live in them, and there may be some blessing in some objects, and anyone who comes nears them is not affected by bad omens or anything bad. This is like when Allaah gives parents a blessed child and they experience goodness because of him, whilst He gives others a mean child and they experience bad things because of him. This applies to what may Allaah may bestow on His slave of houses, wives and horses. Allaah is the Creator of good and evil, good luck and bad luck. So some of these things may be “lucky” and blessed and bring happiness for those who come into contact with them, so they are blessed; and some of them may be “unlucky” and bring “bad luck” to those who come into contact with them, all by the will and decree of Allaah, just as He has created all other causes and effects which may vary. So He has created musk and other fragrant substances, which give delight to all those who come into contact with them, and He has created their opposites which cause disgust to all those who come into contact with them. The difference between the two types is known from experience. The same applies to houses, women and horses. This is one thing, and the shirki belief in bad omens is something else altogether.
He said concerning the Prophet’s command to that family to leave that house, as mentioned in the hadeeth quoted above:
This is not the kind of superstition that is forbidden. Rather he told them to leave it when they started to think along these lines, in order to achieve two aims and two benefits:
1 – It was so that they would leave a place that they disliked and felt scared in because of what had happened to them there, so that they might find relief from the panic, grief and depression that assailed them there, because Allaah has made it man’s nature to hate that which causes him harm even though it is not the fault of that thing, and to love that which brings him happiness, even though the thing itself does not intend to do good. So he commanded them to leave that which they disliked, because Allaah sent him as a mercy, and did not send him as a torment. He sent him to make things easy, not to make things hard. So how could he have told them to stay in a place where they were unhappy and felt scared to stay because of the great losses they had suffered there, when that would serve no purpose of worship or increase their piety or guidance, especially when they had stayed there for so long after they had begun to feel uncomfortable there which made them superstitious. So this protected them from two serious things:
1 – Committing shirk
2 – Protecting them from something bad happening to them because of their superstition, which usually affects those who believe in it. So he protected them because of his great mercy and kindness from these two disliked things, by telling them to leave that house and move to another without any harm coming to them with regard to either their worldly or religious interests.
Miftaah Daar al-Sa’aadah, 2/258
And Allaah knows best.
Taken from IslamQA
![Can He Propose to an Engaged Woman? [+1] (Ahadith 2381 – 2385)](https://ilookilisten.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/14185283153421.jpg?w=90&h=70&crop=1 "Can He Propose to an Engaged Woman? [+1] (Ahadith 2381 – 2385)")
Can He Propose to an Engaged Woman? [+1] (Ahadith 2381 – 2385)
Bismillah.
Ahadith 2381 – 2385 (below) are repeats. See linked text to for related posts.
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 883 :
Narrated by Rafi bin Khadij (radiallaahu `anhu)
We used to work on the fields more than the other Ansar, and we used to rent the land (for the yield of a specific portion of it). But sometimes that portion or the rest of the land did not give any yield, so we were forbidden (by the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)) to follow such a system, but we were allowed to rent the land for money.
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 884 :
Narrated by Abu Huraira (radiallaahu `anhu)
The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “No town-dweller should sell for a bedouin. Do not practice Najsh (i.e. Do not offer a high price for a thing which you do not want to buy, in order to deceive the people). No Muslim should offer more for a thing already bought by his Muslim brother, nor should he demand the hand of a girl already engaged to another Muslim. A Muslim woman shall not try to bring about The divorce of her sister (i.e. another Muslim woman) in order to take her place herself.”
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 885 :
Narrated by Abu Huraira and Zaid bin Khalid Al-Juhani (radiallaahu `anhumaa)
A bedouin came to Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and said, “O Allah’s apostle! I ask you by Allah to judge My case according to Allah’s Laws.” His opponent, who was more learned than he, said, “Yes, judge between us according to Allah’s Laws, and allow me to speak.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Speak.” He (i .e. the bedouin or the other man) said, “My son was working as a laborer for this (man) and he committed illegal sexual intercourse with his wife. The people told me that it was obligatory that my son should be stoned to death, so in lieu of that I ransomed my son by paying one hundred sheep and a slave girl. Then I asked the religious scholars about it, and they informed me that my son must be lashed one hundred lashes, and be exiled for one year, and the wife of this (man) must be stoned to death.” Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, I will judge between you according to Allah’s Laws. The slave-girl and the sheep are to be returned to you, your son is to receive a hundred lashes and be exiled for one year. You, Unais, go to the wife of this (man) and if she confesses her guilt, stone her to death.” Unais went to that woman next morning and she confessed. Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) ordered that she be stoned to death.
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 886 :
Narrated by Aiman Al-Makki
When I visited Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) she said, “Buraira who had a written contract for her emancipation for a certain amount came to me and said, “O mother of the believers! Buy me and manumit me, as my masters will sell me.” Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) agreed to it. Buraira said, ‘My masters will sell me on the condition that my Wala will go to them.” Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) said to her, ‘Then I am not in need of you.’ The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) heard of that or was told about it and so he asked Aisha, ‘What is the problem of Buraira?’ He said, ‘Buy her and manumit her, no matter what they stipulate.’ Aisha (radiallaahu `anhaa) added, ‘I bought and manumitted her, though her masters had stipulated that her Wala would be for them.’ The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, The Wala is for the liberator, even if the other stipulated a hundred conditions.“
Volume 3, Book 50, Number 887 :
Narrated by Abu Huraira (radiallaahu `anhu)
Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) forbade (1) the meeting of the caravan (of goods) on the way, (2) and that a residing person buys for a bedouin, (3) and that a woman stipulates the divorce of the wife of the would-be husband, (4) and that a man tries to cause the cancellation of a bargain concluded by another. He also forbade An-Najsh and that one withholds the milk in the udder of the animal so that he may deceive people on selling it.
Most of the points in the above mentioned ahadith have been covered before (see links). We’ll cover the remaining ones here:
Ruling on proposing marriage to a girl who is already engaged (same rule applies to a man who tries to cause the cancellation of a bargain concluded by another).
If a person has proposed marriage to a woman, it is not permitted for anyone else to offer a proposal to her, because of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) which states that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man should offer a proposal of marriage over the proposal of his brother until the first one gives up or gives him permission.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4746).
There follow quotations from Ibn Hijr’s commentary which will shed more light on the matter:
The majority of scholars said: This amounts to a prohibition… The Shaafi’is and Hanbalis said: it is prohibited when the woman proposed to, or her appointed guardian, has stated that she accepts the offer, but if she has stated that she rejects this offer, it is not prohibited. If the second man does not know the situation, then he is permitted to propose marriage, because the basic principle is that proposing marriage is something permitted… If the woman has not answered either way, it is permitted. Al-Tirmidhi reported from al-Shaafi’i that the meaning of the hadeeth is: if a man proposes to a woman and she likes him and accepts, no-one else should propose to her after that, but if he (the second man) does not know that she liked and accepted that proposal, there is nothing wrong with his proposing to her. The evidence for this is the story of Faatimah bint Qays, who did not tell (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) that she had accepted the proposal of one (of two men who had proposed to her). If she had told him, he would not have advised her to marry someone other than the one she had chosen. If there is no word of acceptance or rejection from the woman, some of the Shaafi’is say that it is definitely permitted… Al-Shaafi’i said that in the case of a virgin, her silence indicates her acceptance of a suitor.
The hadeeth was interpretated as meaning that if the first man to propose gives permission to the second, it is no longer prohibited for him to propose. … It was reported from Ibn al-Qaasim, the companion of Maalik, that if the first suitor is immoral, a chaste man is permitted to propose over his proposal. Ibn al-‘Arabi said that this was correct… This is applicable if the woman is chaste, because an immoral man would not be compatible for her, and his proposal would be like no proposal at all.
The phrase “until he marries her”* means until the first suitor has gone ahead and married her, so that anyone else will realize that there is no longer any point in proposing; “or gives up” means that the first suitor decides not to go ahead, in which case it is permitted for the second to offer his proposal.
* Please note these words are in another Riwaayah…
Taken from IslamQA
Ruling on a woman stipulating at the time of marriage that her husband-to-be has to divorce his first wife.
Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Azeez ar-Raajihi said:
If a woman stipulates at the time of the [marriage] contract that [her husband-to-be] is not to marry again whilst he remains married to her, then this condition is valid, and she is allowed to make such a stipulation. So if he remarries, then she has a choice: If she wishes – she can remain with him, and if she wishes – she can [legally] be divorced from him.
If she stipulates at the time of the [marriage] contract that [her husband-to-be] is to divorce his first wife, but he does not, then [in this case] he is not required to do so. The reason being thatthis condition is invalid because of the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam):
“It is not permissible for a woman to demand her sister’s divorce so that she may take her place and get married. She cannot have more than what is decreed for her.”
[Saheeh Muslim/1408, Musnad Ahmad/2-489]
…so he forbade the stipulation of this condition. And [in legal terms] a forbiddance amounts to invalidity, so this [hadeeth] implies that such a condition is indeed invalid.
Source: Taqyeed ash-Shawaarid min al-Qawaa’id wal-Fawaa’id – Page 284-285
Can a Muslim Woman Propose to a Muslim Man? (Hadith No. 2001)
Bismillah.
Hadith no. 2000 (below) is a repeat. Read it here.
Volume 3, Book 38, Number 504 :
Narrated by Jabir bin ‘Abdullah (radiallaahu `anhu)
I was accompanying the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) on a journey and was riding a slow camel that was lagging behind the others. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) passed by me and asked, “Who is this?” I replied, “Jabir bin ‘Abdullah.” He asked, “What is the matter, (why are you late)?” I replied, “I am riding a slow camel.” He asked, “Do you have a stick?” I replied in the affirmative. He said, “Give it to me.” When I gave it to him, he beat the camel and rebuked it. Then that camel surpassed the others thenceforth. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Sell it to me.” I replied, “It is (a gift) for you, O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam).” He said, “Sell it to me. I have bought it for four Dinars (gold pieces) and you can keep on riding it till Medina.” When we approached Medina, I started going (towards my house). The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “Where are you going?” I said, “I have married a widow.” He said, “Why have you not married a virgin to fondle with each other?” I said, “My father died and left daughters, so I decided to marry a widow (an experienced woman) (to look after them).” He said, “Well done.” When we reached Medina, Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “O Bilal, pay him (the price of the camel) and give him extra money.” Bilal (radiallaahu `anhu) gave me four Dinars and one Qirat extra. (A sub-narrator said): Jabir (radiallaahu `anhu) added, “The extra Qirat of Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) never parted from me.” The Qirat was always in Jabir bin ‘Abdullah’s (radiallaahu `anhu) purse.
Today’s Hadith:
Volume 3, Book 38, Number 505 :
Narrated by Sahl bin Sad (radiallaahu `anhu)
A woman came to Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) and said, “O Allah’s Apostle (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam)! I want to give up myself to you.” A man said, “Marry her to me.” The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) said, “We agree to marry her to you with what you know of the Qur’an by heart.”
Read the full version of this hadith, narrated in Al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 54:
Narrated Sahl bin Sad:
A woman presented herself to the Prophet (for marriage). A man said to him, “O Allah’s Apostle! (If you are not in need of her) marry her to me.” The Prophet said, “What have you got?” The man said, “I have nothing.” The Prophet said (to him), “Go and search for something) even if it were an iron ring.” The man went and returned saying, “No, I have not found anything, not even an iron ring; but this is my (Izar) waist sheet, and half of it is for her.” He had no Rida’ (upper garment). The Prophet said, “What will she do with your waist sheet? If you wear it, she will have nothing over her; and if she wears it, you will have nothing over you.” So the man sat down and when he had sat a long time, he got up (to leave). When the Prophet saw him (leaving), he called him back, or the man was called (for him), and he said to the man, “How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?” The man replied I know such Sura and such Sura (by heart),” naming the Suras The Prophet said, “I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran.”
With regard to the idea of a Muslim woman offering herself in marriage to a righteous man, that does not contradict the idea of modesty, so long as he is trustworthy with regard to his religious commitment and moral attitude. It was narrated that Thaabit al Banaani said: “I was with Anas ibn Maalik and a daughter of his was with him. He said: ‘A woman came to the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) and offered herself in marriage to him. She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, do you want to marry me?’ The daughter of Anas said: ‘How little was her modesty. How shameless, how shameless!’ Anas said: ‘She was better than you; she had a liking for the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) so she offered herself in marriage to him.'” (al-Bukhaari 4828)
Imam al-Bukhaari included this Hadeeth in a chapter which he entitled: “A woman offering herself in marriage to a righteous man.”
Al-Hafiz ibn Hajar said:
“Ibn al-Munayyir said in al-Haashiyah: ‘One of the subtle points of al-Bukhaari’s knowledge is that he from the specific story of the woman who offered herself in marriage to the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) he derived a general principle; he understood that it is permissible for any woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man whose righteousness she admires, and if he likes her he may marry her subject to the conditions of marriage being fulfilled.'”
These two Ahaadeeth – the Hadeeth of Sahl and the Hadeeth of Anas, both of which mention the woman who offered herself in marriage to the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) – indicate that it is permissible for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a man, and to let him know that she has a liking for him, and there is nothing wrong with her doing so. And the one to whom a woman offers herself in marriage has the choice of either accepting or refusing, but he does not have to express his refusal outright, rather it is sufficient for him to remain silent. (Fath al-Baari, 9/175)
Al-‘Ayni said:
“The words of Anas to his daughter: ‘She is better than you’ indicate that it is permissible for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man, and to tell him of her liking for him because of his righteousness and virtue, or because of his knowledge and honor, or for some characteristic of religious commitment, and that there is no shame on her if she does that, rather that is a sign of her virtue. The daughter of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) looked at the externals and she did not understand this properly until Anas said: ‘She is better than you.’ As for the woman who offers herself in marriage to a man for some worldly purpose, this is something that is abhorrent in the extreme.” (Umdat al-Qaari’ Sharh Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 20/1130)
But it is better for a woman to inform her wali (guardian) of her desire to marry a righteous man who is trustworthy with regard to his religious commitment and his moral attitude, without telling the man bluntly. This may be understood from what one of the two women did, when she said to her father – concerning Moosa (peace be upon him): “And said one of them (the two women): ‘O my father! Hire him! Verily, the best of men for you to hire is the strong, the trustworthy’”
(al-Qasas 28:26)
al-Qurtubi said with regard to the words of Allah: ‘I intend to wed one of these two daughters of mine to you, on condition that you serve me for eight years…’ (al-Qasas 28:27):
Here the father offered his daughter in marriage to the man. This is an established custom whereby the righteous man of Madyan offered his daughter in marriage to a righteous man of the Children of Israel, ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and Uthmaan, and the woman who offered herself in marriage offered herself to the Prophet (p.b.u.h.). So it is good for a man to offer his female relative who is under his care in marriage, and for a woman to offer herself in marriage to a righteous man, following the example of the righteous salaf. Ibn Umar said: “When Hafsah became single (due to her husband’s death), Umar said to Uthmaan: ‘If you wish, I will marry Hafsah Bint Umar to you.'” (al-Bukhaari, 4005, Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 13/271)
But it should be noted that most of what happens nowadays, when a woman likes a particular man, is the result of Haraam causes, such as a careless attitude on her part whereby she talks to him and sits with him. A person who has evil motives may take advantage of such an offer to achieve some of his aims. So we must beware of this and protect our honor from anything that may besmirch it.
And Allah knows best.
Taken from IslamQA
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